Saturday, July 11, 2015

The count-down

It is one week today that I will be in a mild state of panic (and a large state of excitement) about heading to Changunarayan Nepal. 

I will be haggling (no doubt) with Air New Zealand for extra (free) baggage allowance so I can carry the donations of clothing I have, along with my own personal items, and I will be keeping a keen eye on the U.S dollar - well aware that our kiwi dollar is very weak against the mighty U.S at this point. Every dollar counts in Nepal you see and nothing irks me more than dollars lost due to senseless fickle currency changes (of course I rejoice when it's the other way around!).
It seems an age since the first quake of April 25 struck and given that we three musketeers of NZ will be arriving on July 20 in Kathmandu - it will in fact be almost three months to the day. I have wondered "what can we do to help when possibly everything has already been done?".
We take with us donated winter clothing (currently it is summer - the monsoon - so it is wet and warm); we take building tools; we take water filters for clean water generation and I take $2000 NZD in donations which is really exciting! I look forward to delivering the filters and the clothes to people in need - hopefully some schools will benefit from the water filters in particular.  We know there will be a great need for warm clothing come winter. My original plan was to include my love of hiking with delivery of these items, but since my back injury last week I am now wondering if going to Nepal is a sensible idea at all. As I sit here blogging (my usual Sunday morning blogging possie is in my bed with my home-made toast and a coffee); I have a hot water bottle stuffed behind my back and I have breakfast'd (is that a word?!) on my toast plus a handful of pain-relief drugs. I hate pharmaceuticals but (and yep here comes the "but") until my body is able to relax enough to generate its own pain-killing hormones, I need a little help. I can barely move without pain; I cannot walk without pain; I cannot sleep without pain and I cannot actually breathe without pain. The 24-hour travel to Nepal consequently, does not excite me much.
I am spending my last weekend here with my daughter Lily; Lily would like to ski with me before I go but I suspect it's going to be a case of her skiing and me sitting in the cafe watching and blogging or editing some book ...
It is in times like these that it is useful to remember that some things do happen for a reason and that the body has a wonderful innate way of telling us to "slow down!" It is what it is. Perhaps had I been in a little more relaxed state at the time of my injury, my body would have just deflected it and life would go on as before - but instead, I tore every muscle holding my pelvis stable - the hip stabiliser muscles comprising of both superficial and deep muscles that ensure our pelvis is correctly orientated in the anterior, posterior and horizontal planes. This is why my pain is high. It has a big job to do.
As always I think to myself about the people in Nepal suffering a worse reality than I and I tell myself to "pull your head in". I look forward to the reality check - I think we all need one of these from time to time as it pulls us away from our immediate woes and creates a space within which we can truly reflect on what is important. I do argue though some people simply are not ready to allow that space to open up for reflection (and also one receives far more sympathy through moaning than not!).  It is up to each of us to take responsibility for how we manifest  a journey forward when the "shit hits the fan". I have had several people say to me already "are you sure you should be going to Nepal?" And yes certainly I am wondering how I will manage this level of pain through the flight and also whilst there (particularly as I am not one for sitting around); but - if I am to change my plans to a time when I may be in less pain, I will not be able to receive the learning that is opening up for me from this experience.  Resilience is a wonderful thing to have, I have it in spades ... It just might be I have to let Air New Zealand have their way and insist I can only take 23kg because perhaps in this weird twist of fate; my back would not cope with lugging anything heavier. 

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